Sunday, October 25, 2009

Keeping it Simple this Sunday

I bumped into these words a few weeks ago.
They were used in context within the body of an e mail from an old school friend.
Their simplicity took my breath away as I read them and they've passed through my mind often since then. I thought I would share them.
Of course before one shares words one needs to find out where they come from;
find out who we need to thank.

We have Mizuta Masahide to thank.
He was a samurai who studied under the poet Basho. In 1688 Masahide’s house was burnt down, prompting him to write this now famous haiku.

Barn's burnt down --
I can see the moon.

That’s my offering for today.
Quotable Sunday is brought to you by

Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy Hour Friday

Otin and RxBambi host this little gem each week, go check them out! So the idea is to list some things that make you happy, and then have a fun weekend!

I’m happy that the luncheon I prepared for guests today had them licking their plates

I’m happy that the builders helped themselves to all the apples and saved me the trouble of trying my hand at wine making. Hey, there’s always next season’s crop!

I’m happy that I have 10 rose cuttings that have new shoots! Ten!! That is a rose garden. Okay so I’m not happy about it….I’m ECSTATIC!

I’m happy that I’ll soon be spending real time with dear friends back in Cape Town.

I’m happy that I’m getting happier by the day

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Things I Want Thursday

"Things I Want Thursday" was started by Sass at Are You Sassified?. I forget how I happened upon her writing but I'm glad I did. I'm sure she knows how long I "lurked" there before finding the courage to comment.
I'm really not sure how all this button grabbing works; I'm sure one day I'll look back and laugh! In the meantime apologies for any inadvertant groping!
Scope is having a contest to get others to join in the Sass fun so here goes.....

  1. I want a cup of coffee RIGHT now
  2. I want that damned pesky dog next door to stop barking
  3. I want to learn to speak Portuguese
  4. I want to reconnect with old friends that I've neglected
  5. I want to pick all the apples I have growing here and have a go at making apple wine
  6. I want to remember to smile at regular intervals through the day
  7. I want all my little rose cuttings to sprout
  8. I want to try my hand at making fresh pasta
  9. I want to be able to live in one place for more than 6 months or 90 days at a time
  10. I want to be kinder to myself

Methinks that's more than enough for one week!

Happy Thursday y'all!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Quotable Sunday

Mothers Day Gift Ideas
So today is Quotable Sunday over at "A Daily Dose of Toni"
and the quest is to post quotable quotes about

This word lies close to my heart.
And not just for the most obvious reasons; but nonetheless close.
And close I shall keep it and treasure it.... cos it's all mine!

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."
Nelson Mandela

"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them."
Jack Kerouac

said another way...

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it -
which of these two attitudes is the least the destructive?

I don't know."
Paulo Coelho

Happy {passionate} Sunday y'all!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


To whom it may concern...

I want you to know that I love you.

I never stopped, not for one demanding moment and it will never end.
Even in your darkest moments you’ve known that you could always rely on my love.

It is what it is.
I am what I am.
I do what I do.
You know this is true. You know me better than anyone. And I mean anyone.

I also know that the Universe brings people together.
Look at how we met! Love at first site isn’t a fairytale.
We’ve experienced its reality; felt it working at first hand, seen the connection. We've known what communicating without words feels like; even when we were miles apart.
Yet now…. must I believe that it doesn’t mean a thing?
It's hard to fathom how two people who once cared for each other so powerfully - who looked out for each other's best interests and shared a common dream of growing old together - can find themselves on opposite sides of what feels like a chasm; when before their journeying through life was like the treasure hunt for perfectly fitting jigsaw pieces.

And when I say perfect I do not mean easy or unchallenging. I mean warts and all!

Yet still you walked away. Was finding the perfectly fitting jigsaw piece for this part of our puzzle just too much of a challenge?
How then, the cynics will ask, how can what you had mean a thing?

I know there are some things a person can’t change.
I know there are some situations where apologies hold no meaning.
For that the Universe gives us the choice to Forgive.

Or not.

I have to live with your choices; my choices.
But know this.....
I never doubted us making it through this huge adventure.
I’ve never stopped thinking about you; never stopped needing to share my day with you. All those little snippets that I instinctively want to tell you about ... only to be pulled up short by the knowledge that all that will greet me is a cold wall of silence and indifference.
Ignoring this knowledge; hoping against hope and trying to get through.

(Beep)...sorry I can't take your call right now...leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can...(Beep)

I never once considered letting go of you.
What I must now accept is the fact that I was let go of long ago because you ask me to believe you have done your mourning.
Mourning for something that I believed was still alive; albeit at times kicking.

I really wish you had told me; told me that I was on probation and that the slightest mistake, the next step out of line, would have me being dropped into that bottomless box of yours.

So now what? Do I simply attach a whole collection of “everything happens for a reason” labels to the sealed top and sides of my bottomless box just to make sense of it all?
Well it doesn’t make sense because I don’t believe that love just dies. It can falter and wilt because we forget how to replenish its core. It can become clouded in stubbornness and be blinded by assumptions, mistakes and inappropriate behaviour. But I don’t believe it dies.

Sometimes there is nothing one can say.
Sometimes one should just say nothing.

I have never been that kind of person.
You always knew that; knew it from the moment you set eyes on me.
You know that to be true. You’ve even relied on just that.
Just as I have always relied on you to look me in the eyes and tell me its okay; to hold me tight and make me feel safe. Today, tomorrow, the next day, forever…we knew it would be alright. We had each other. Even though you said kokeid and I said cock-eyed... we got the gist of each other!
I knew that.
Or did I just mistakenly assume that?

It’s not the hurt that is so hard for me right now; the fact that I never left a little “Happy” space for disappointment.
It’s gone deeper than that.
It’s the fact that I DID believe every word you said.

Every opinion you had. Every promise you made.
Every. Word. You. Ever. Said.
I never doubted you; never entertained the possibility of you turning your back on me and walking away; giving up on us without a fight; giving up on me without a word.

Not until now.

I now truly understand what being as small and as insignificant as humanly possible feels like. And how it can actually ache in places I didn’t know I had inside me. I go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what I could have differently.
Wonder what instinct I can now trust if I was so wrong about you; so wrong about the last six years.
Wonder why the ONLY contact from me that you have responded to in an entire year has only been that from my ugly dark side; the dark side that lashes out.
Wonder if this is all you responded to because it suited your purpose.
Wonder if this is all you will remember me for.

I want to be impossible to forget.
I want you to be able to summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles will soon stand between us.
I want you to be able to see my face, hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.
I want to have the kind of impact on someone whereby they know they’ll never find anyone else who could ever take my place.

Because that’s what you are to me. the Mountains and the Sea