reflections of respect

I remember that 11th day of February so clearly... as if it were yesterday.
I was hanging out the window of my humble little clothing factory watching history unfold ... it was finally happening...
Nelson Mandela was free and was making his way to the city centre to address the nation.
And tonight that nation...together with millions around the world ... wait with baited breath and heavy heart to hear if he will have survived the night. He is 94; a stellar age for any individual but the passing of this particular one just seems so sad.
My eldest niece was a mere one year old when he walked to freedom. She is now a photo journalist and a month ago was beyond excited about the fact that she had been asked to shoot and write an article for her magazine in preparation for this very moment...the moment we lose the man that helped shape the history of Africa.
I remember thinking on that hot February day how our lives and more importantly how the lives of the future generations...my darling niece's generation were forever changed.

Hambe Gashle Tata

Honey...I'm home!

Moving right along...lets get this alphabet thang done and dusted....last stop was the letter R which if memory serves me is followed by essssssssssss.... so many to choose from but my go to would have to be....

Synchronicity...

This is a concept developed by my all time fave psychologist Carl Jung to describe a perceived meaningful coincidence.In his most famous description of synchronicity, Jung told a story about a man named Monsieur Deschamps and how Deschamps' neighbor, Monsieur de Fontgibu, once gave him plum pudding. In Paris ten years later, Deschamps orders plum pudding in a restaurant but discovers that the last serving was sold to de Fontgibu, who is unexpectedly in town and at that same restaurant. Years later, Deschamps is once again offered plum pudding at a social gathering. As Deschamps tells the gathering about the earlier coincidences, he is shocked to see de Fontgibu come in the door.
The generic definition sounds like....

... where I spent two wonderful weeks last year...sigh


Ubuntu (pronounced oo-BOON-too)is an ancient African word meaning 'humanity to others'. It also means 'I am what I am because of who we all are'.

Vegetables and my continuing passion for growing them...did I realize how much I love Fennel??

W for wax...waxing lyrical jumps to immediate mind....simply because one could cry about the fact that there are just no good waxer/beautician type gals here on my island!!

So...as I was saying....
...to wax lyrical means to talk positively about someone or something.

The intransitive verb to wax is normally seen in the sense of increasing, as the moon waxes and wanes in its cycle. But to wax also means to become, to tend towards, to grow towards. One can wax indignant, or wax lyrical, or wax rapturous, meaning you become/tend to that state. The word is old, tracing back from the high German to the Greek. Okay...so it needs to be positive...ok...got it?

Xenophobia

a fancy word meaning fear of foreigners and there seems to be a lot of it going round

Yes

...ya ya

 

 

Zebra stripes
...nothing quite defines my roots more than these striped lads

 

 

So...

how's everyone doing?

xx

time sure flies....

shew...it's been a while

gimme a moment while I unpack....

roll those rrrrrrr's

It really is as simple as that. 

One can wax lyrical about the relationship between reaping and sowing or the abundance and kindness of reciprocity but unless you have respect for self you have nothing to give. 

The wise ones go on about how one has to give it in order to get it. I really don't think that it should be about the getting of respect. Way too much emphasis is laid at that damned door. The perception is that if one is not getting respect then one must be a lesser mortal...not enough as is. Lives can be altered buying into that shit! I mean think about the hoops one jumps through at times in order to crack the nod. And why? Because we are made to feel we are not enough. One should not NEED to 'get 'if one 'has'. And if one has self respect then one is enough. 
And we all have it...we all start out with it totally intact. 
Of course if a child is put down, criticised and disparaged all its life then yes... it will WANT it. So here's the thing... prospective parents should make sure their respect for self is nice and strong and self sufficient before they take on the responsibility of having children. I mean how on earth can one teach a child about self respect when one has none? 
How will a mother be able to set an example to her daughters about respect if she has none for herself; if she allows the father to abuse her at any level? 
And if a father uses fear as a means to gain respect then that poor child will spend its life living in fear and yearning for and trying to get his approval. 
Of course once the big bad world is let in on this scenario that poor child will have become so accustomed to the fact that they are not worthy unless they are respected by others. Fuck that I say!!  I believe that what we should be teaching our children from the get go is how to preserve one's self respect...how to have more respect for oneself...how to put into perspective the value of respect from others. This should be our religion!! Have faith in your self first and the rest will follow.


It is quite a thing to realise that that big black hole of need in one's life is due to the fact that a lot of the significant others in one's childhood... in my childhood ...my life ...were...are...so lacking in self respect. It's taken me a long time to realise that I have never needed respect from these significant people and if they have made me feel less than enough then  shame on them...shame on them for the little girl that once was. But the good thing is the little girl is a big girl now and she can see these things. 
The irony is that the less one feels the need for it the more one will just get it. You think about the people you really respect; if they are anything like the ones in my life then they will be folk who are resoundingly secure in their own skin, in their respect for self. They will also be resoundingly few and far between!! 
Of course we all have our little quirks of insecurity if we scratch beneath the surface but those will be the ebbs and flows of life, the occasional bumps like turbulence in our flight. They will not be life defining if we have that solid base of self respect. 

'Whatever you have forgotten, you can remember. Whatever you have buried you can unearth. If you are willing to look deep in your own nature, if you are willing to peel away the layers of not-self you have adopted in making your way through the tribulations of life, you will find that your true self is not as far removed as you think.'

-Meredith Jordan

the quintessential quote

This quote was included in a recent newsletter from the passion of my previous life... the theatrical world; and we all know how much I love quotes so I'm thinking two birds one stone! 

“If you cannot understand my argument, and declare "It's Greek to me", you are quoting Shakespeare; 

if you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, 

you are quoting Shakespeare; 

if you recall your salad days, 
you are quoting Shakespeare; 

if you act more in sorrow than in anger; 

if your wish is farther to the thought; 

if your lost property has vanished into thin air, 

you are quoting Shakespeare; 

if you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, 

if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, 
slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, 

danced attendance (on your lord and master), 

laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool's paradise -why, be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare; if you think it is early days 
and clear out bag and baggage, 

if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, 

if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then - to give the devil his due - if the truth were known 

(for surely you have a tongue in your head) 
you are quoting Shakespeare; 

even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, 

if you wish I was dead as a door-nail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, then - by Jove! O Lord! Tut tut! For goodness' sake! 

What the dickens! But me no buts! - it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare.” 

― Bernard Levin

If you think about it this could be a great script to tuck away into one's repertoire ... you know...for those occasions when one needs to whip out a soliloquy!