Friday, November 11, 2011

Oooo...K (particle too)

Okay so my pinky promise 'tomorrow' has turned into a 'today' well over a week later…so be it.
Anyway… today is the day and its an auspicious day with its three elevens.
Now where was I?
Oh yes, turning towards the looking glass…hmmm.

There is nothing more important than the relationship we have with ourselves.
We know this …don’t we? We are not stupid…are we?
Yet we have it drummed into us that we need to put others’ needs before our own; be kind to others first; that any attention to self is selfish. And then to compound the whole thing we spend even more time beating ourselves up…how clever is that? How UNkind is that?

We all know what that delicious moment between sleeping and waking feels like…before life comes rushing at us.
So why does that feeling only last for a moment?
I think it’s because every morning when we wake up, before we have a conscious thought, we immediately log on to mypersonalsoundtrack dot com which tells us we are ‘too’ this or ‘too’ that and all our negative energy of anxiety, insecurity, anger and resentment comes rushing in. It’s like we have a drop down list in our head that tells us we are ‘too’ something, or not enough something else; less than, more than, early for, late for. And then of course we have all the ‘shoulda-coulda-woulda’ sound effects to jolly things up even more. Of course we wash that all down with a cup of guilt sugared with remorse and regret and THEN we get up, get dressed and go out into the world – the world whose needs we’ve been told we need to think of before our own. And it tells us even more versions of what we do or don’t lack! And then the Universe whispers in our ear that nirvana will be attained if we just let go of who we or others think we are supposed to be and be who we really are.
Shit…sit still for a moment world!

That concept, that idea of being who we really are, that got me asking myself… who are you Possum?
One person could see you as a genius who is wise and knows how to solve problems but another could see that same you-ness as being a know-it-all; being an inspiration to one could be another’s bossy and manipulative.
And of course all we remember, all we focus on, are the negative aspects of this spectrum, the criticized versions of who we are. Right? This sometimes has us jumping through hoops or behaving like chameleons in order to ‘belong’…to fit in.
But … if you sit still and think … just think about it… we might be too something for some people and not enough for others so in fact we just are… we are not ‘too’ anything… we are Worthy. And the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is consciously focus on that worthiness, on feeling comfortable in our own skin; accepting that no matter what you do belong.
We need to worry less about what people think or say and more about how we feel.  Just mind our own business and ask ourselves every morning when we wake up: What do I need to take care of myself today. I am pretty sure that if we change that inner soundtrack...change that negative default setting in our brain...we could go a long way to extending that morning deliciosity.(my own word)
If you want to be kind to others start with self. It is the only way.

6 comments:

  1. mypersonalsoundtrack.com Ha! That's the best! I have one of those and some days I do so want to shut it up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So true, Possum! I have been working hard the last couple years at changing that soundtrack - it is hard work but so worth it. Wonderful post!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Absolutely.
    I fucking love myself. Seriously. I'm not better than anyone else, but I definitely try to remain true to who I am, and to respect others. That generally leaves me with an okay attitude towards me. Sometimes I get down in the dumps, but I think that's actually good for the soul, too - self reflection and being humble are pretty important.
    You have me babbling. :)

    ReplyDelete